Nordic Secrets (DenNorSuFin)
by jamesjallox
Summary: A childish argument leads to even more childish things — like a porn fight. This fic is a poor excuse for plot and is a silly nsfw story.


**Hello. I have permission from the original author HomoVauva to edit and continue this. I do not own characters, etc.**

Norway sat quietly, watching Finland and Denmark fighting the ever-so-boring arm wrestling battle they always had. Denmark smirked before letting his hand go slightly limp. Finland smirked, going to push his hand down, but Den had taken his slight moment of victory to slam his hand down on the table.

"DENMARK!" He screeched, grabbing out at his hair while Sweden pulled his arm back, holding him from clobbering the Dane's face to shreds.

Norway chuckled, silently turning the page of his book. Denmark walked over to him and bowed down closely to Nors' ear, smirking. "Hallo, darlin~" He cooed, and it took all of Nors' self will to not smack him upside the head.

Finland was still pouting, asking Sweden why he couldn't beat up Denmark even though the Swede was able to, all of the time. "Thats because I'm in charge of ya. An' also Nor. You two are too childish."

Norway rolled his eyes a bit.

"Nor an' Den take care of Ice like the old married couple they are. You're not the only one with restrictions." Sweden said, smirking a bit at Norway. Norway crossed his arms, looking away from Denmark and Sweden.

"At least I don't masturbate to Finland." Norway said, devilishly smirking at Sweden.

"That was uncalled for, and ya know that."

Finland simply looked at Sweden, giving him a confused and terrified look. Sweden gulped, refusing to look back at the Finnish man. Finland opened his mouth to say something but kept silent before adding, "Are we all just going to be annoying? I have secrets I know about you guys, too."

Sweden glared at Norway, Norway covering his mouth to hide his smile.

"One time I saw Icey humping the fridge." Finland said nonchalant, and everyone shuddered. Iceland grumbled from his spot on the couch.

"One, Denmark had let me have beer. Two, I'm going to my room." He declared, turning off his gaming system.

"Why is that? Is it so I don't share any more embarrassing secrets about you?" Finland asked, smiling with a fake innocence.

"Well, there was that one time you snuck into Norway's room to get a vibrator." Iceland said calmly, walking off to his room with a snicker (and brief shudder at the memory). Finland made a disgusted noise at Ice as he walked off.

"I found Norway on a porn site once." Finland admitted, and the Norwegian in questions' face turned red.

"What? But I've never even- Oh my god."

Denmark smirked from beside him, winking.

"OH MY GOD DENMARK THAT WAS YOUR PENIS?!" Finland shrieked, making a face and gagging a little.

Denmark and Norways' faces turned red and redder. "He wasn't even supposed to do anything with that video besides... Ya know." Norway bit his lip.

Sweden looked over them and shook his head as if to shame them.

"Not like you and Sweden haven't made anything." Denmark pouted, crossing his arms. "You're just jealous of my big dick."

"Denmark, you're smaller than Sweden!" Finland said, snorting. Sweden stepped on Finland's foot softly and he yipped. "Hey!"

"That's not important!" Denmark huffed, looking over at Norway. "Ain't that right~?"

"Don't include me in on this, pervert. If I knew you uploaded that video to a porn site, where strangers could get off to me, you ass would have been gone long ago." Norway said, glaring at the wall and refusing to look back at the others.

"I may have put up a few videos of me riding things." Finland said, looking at the floor. The two shared gossip every once in a while, but this still seemed unwarranted. "If that makes ya feel any better, Nor." Norway grumbled and looked at Sweden.

"What about you? I'm sure you've got something somewhere."

Sweden shook his head no.

"Well then make somethin'!" Denmark said, grinning. "We all could. And then whoever gets the best rating after like, a week, wins!" Norway made a sound of disgust.

"That's an awful idea. Why would we even want to do that?"

Finland smirked, grabbing Sweden's hand. Finland could beat Denmark up in his own way. "I may not be able to deepthroat like Nor but I sure as hell can ride Ber to high heaven~"

"Well deepthroating isn't the only thing I can do!" Norway yelled, clenching his fists, growling. Denmark smirked and took his arm. "Den, no. I'm not doing that."

"Who's videotaping?" Iceland asked from the top of the stairs, and all the other Nordics turned to him. Iceland smirked and held up his phone. "It's got good quality~"

"Nasty." Norway spat.

"I DIDN'T MEAN ME! ONLY TO USE MY PHONE!"

Finland shrugged. "We need someone who will be unbiased."

"Why not hire a pornographer? They could get my best side." Denmark grinned.

Iceland snickered a bit, going through his phone, deleting old pictures, videos, and apps to make room.

"I'm not going to watch them— That's disgusting, you're all disgusting —but it will be fun to see you embarrassed. Oh, and blackmail!" Iceland laughed more a little to himself.

Norway sighed. "I suppose there's no backing out of this? I have one condition, I don't want my face in it."

"So, who's gonna film us?"


End file.
